The Si Si of Sarah

Agh!  I can't believe I have been here for almost 8 weeks.  Time has flown by and it really doesn't feel as though I'm on holiday anymore.  It's been so nice to be settled and just "live".  Me and the other volunteers spend 3 days living in Mfuleni township (townships are the areas that during the Apartheid were reserved for non-whites  - black Africans and Coloureds) on shift from 7am to 7pm at Masigcine Children's Home (Masi).  On our breaks and after 7pm, we spend our time reading, watching movies, chatting about our day with the kids, and planning the next day's activities.  When we return for 3 days to Cape Town for our time off, we live in an area called Observatory.  When off shift, we go to the internet cafe, relax, shop, climb mountains, go on tours, visit the markets, go to concerts (Akon baby!!), and of course let loose and party sometimes.  :)

When I arrived the first week I met a ton of great girls to hang with but unfortunately they were just finishing their time here.  Since they have left, I have been on the project with 6 different girls. Malene and Linda from Norway who were with me for about 4 weeks, Jen from Canada here 4 weeks, Emma from Norway here 6 weeks, Kate from England here 4 weeks, and Ingrid from Norway who just arrived 2 weeks ago.  I have seen a lot of people leave, and it hasn't been easy.  Living in close quarters with each other, learning about our differences, going through culture shock together, making preciou memories with the kids, and laughing harder than we've ever laughed before.  I never in a million years thought I could connect with these girls on such a deep level (especially given they are all 19 and 20 years old), but there is a reason why we were all brought together and I am so thankful for sharing this part of my journey with them.  <3

Si Si is a word for sister in the Xhosa language (one of 11 languages in S. Africa).  Although most everyone can speak English as well, Si Si is what we call each other and what we call the women who are full time employees at the home.  My first shift as a Si Si was rewarding, overwhelming, and exhausting all at the same time. I had to go alone b/c the other volunteers hadn't arrived yet, but thankfully Malene & Linda were staying at Masi full time.  They had been at Masi for 3 months last year and came back to live at the house for 6 more weeks.  They showed me the ropes, and if it weren't for them, I probably would have lost it.  I spend most of the shift learning the lay of the land, learning 25 names (so challenging given a lot of them are African and difficult to pronounce), and just enjoying the kids and getting to know their personalities and backgrounds.  They all stole my heart and I was so surprised to see how happy they are, always smiling and laughing.  They are really well behaved (most of the time...) and know the system really well (sad, but true).  The stories behind each child are heartbreaking.  Some have parents who have chosen to neglect them b/c they drink too much, some whose parent's have died of Aids, some who have been left in a trash bin at birth.  Some have been here for months or years, some are 10 years old and have been here since birth, and 5 have arrived since I've started.  Some of their parents walk by w/o acknowledging their children are inside, some parents get visitation, trying to prove they are fit to bring them home again.  It's so painful to see the kids when they come home from a weekend away b/c they are so happy to go home, but so sad to be torn away again.  My first shift ended well, but I was completely exhausted and could not wait to get a break.

Shifts 2 and 3 were tough.  The kids had a lot of activities and visitors those weeks, including parents visiting, past volunteers visiting, choir groups, hula hoop lady, baptisms, public holidays off school, special treats for dinner.  It seems the more people that are around, the wilder they are.  During these shifts I also started to question what is really best for these kids.  Yes, our love and attention is desparately needed (the smiles on their faces when we give them just 20 minutes of one on one time to color or do a puzzle is priceless), but I began wondering if they would do better with more of a routine and with less people around.  I began to feel guilty about coming into their lives for only 4 weeks and leaving them, just like everyone else has done before me.  The only consistencies they have are the full time Si Sis, who have been at the home for years.  They women are absolutely amazing and have the biggest hearts.  They get paid close to nothing (equivalent to about $300 us dollars a month) yet come to work every day (some walking 1.5 hours to get to/from) with the biggest smiles on their faces, taking care and loving the children as if they were their own.  And on their days off, they spend their time cooking, cleaning, and taking care of of their own children at home.  Although these weeks were frustrating for me, I started realizing there was no way I could only stay 1 more week.  I was just starting to get comfortable, I was becoming friends with the Si Sis, starting to learn and speak Xhosa, I wanted to understand the bigger picture on on what goes on withe these homes and the kids, and of course, I was falling in love with the children.

Shifts 4 and 5 were a turning point for me and here I am, going into my 8th shift tomorrow and just can't believe my time here is almost up.  I chose to stay her for the rest of my travels b/c I just couldn't see myself going anywhere else.  Yes, there are so many other places in the world that I want to see, but I have seen and done so much in the last 4 months and to be honest, the novelty of seeing and doing has sort of worn off for the time being.  I figured why not stay here?  When will I ever have this chance again? I feel comfortable here, I have made friends here, I feel like I have sort of a normal life - working a few days a week, etc. A few days ago I realized how a year or so ago I could never imagine myself doing what I'm doing, living in a "dorm", sleeping in bunkbeds, living w/o all my "stuff", but it's crazy how I've just adapted, w/o even thinking about it. I have gained a new appreciation for my friends with kids, although taking care of 1 or 2 kids sounds like a breeze to me at this point. :)  Having 3 kids jumping on me, begging for my attention, crying, and waiting to be held, while another one is tugging on my sleeve needing to go to the toilet, is exhausting.  Of course some days I have no energy and am not engaged.  But the patience, the love, the understanding, the tolerance, and the greatfullness that I have learned is incredible.  At the end of the day, I am blessed for every minute I get with the kids.  Whether it be bathing, feeding, reading, painting, playing outside, doing their nails, singing and dancing, playing outside and taking them to the park, walking them to/from school, wiping their tears (and their snotty noses); every moment is priceless.  My favorite part of the day is bath time at 5pm.  They are refreshed from the day, clean and snuggly, smelling good in the their pjs.  I just love it. 

Of course, even though we are told not to do it, I found a favorite.  After the first week or 2, I didn't think it was possible b/c they are all so cute and perfect in their own way, but after a couple of weeks, I couldn't help it. There is something so special about Babalwa.  Before coming here I figured it would have been a baby, but Babalwa is 6.  Maybe it started when I taught her to ride a bike, or when I tucked her in one night, or the first time she ran up to me and begged for a hug and kiss, calling me mama (which is what all the Si Sis are called by the kids), and saying "I love Sarah".  She is absolutely beautiful, sensitive, loving, and shy and will always have a special place in my heart.  And who knows, if I do come back here, I would for sure entertain the idea of taking her on the weekends and growing our relationship... There is a picture of her and me below.  :)

This amazing experience would not be possible w/o my girls here. So many memories we've made, the trouble we've caused, the new things we have learned, and the silliness we have brought out in each other.  Last night Ingrid, Emma and I had a blast just hanging out in the backyard talking and listening to music and found ourselves saying how we want to hang out with us. We have so much fun together and can entertain each other for hours.  We are pretty sure everyone is jealous of us.  Ha ha.  :-p

I have watched Jen, Kate, Malene and Linda go and tonight is our last night with Emma before she returns back to Norway.  It just won't be the same w/o her. :( Being a Si Si has been wonderful and my life will be forever changed b/c of the time I have spent here.  All I can say is Enkosi (thank you), Si Sis!