The Smiles of Sarah

It's been well over a year since I’ve blogged and I’ve been reluctant to submit anything else for the fear that I would not adhere to my promise to keep it up (as I committed to doing in my August 2011 post).  I am not going to promise this time that I will be back or that I will write that book based on my SOS experiences, as I had originally planned.  But “The Smiles of Sarah” has been something that I have wanted to submit for a long time, and I have had a folder of photos (of people smiling) I have wanted to share since the beginning of my journey in 2010.  

So why now?  On the heels of the first annual International Happiness Day, declared by the United

Nations as March 20^th in hopes of creating and spreading happiness across the globe, I am starting a Facebook Page called “She Smiles”.  Most that know me know I'm a genuinely happy person.  I always try to look on the bright side, think positive, and share my energy and happiness with others.  I'm sure some people "roll their eyes" when I express my happiness and share my words of inspiration and deep quotes on Facebook, but haters gonna' hate no matter what, and if I can make just one person smile a day, that is all I can ask for - whether it be with a compliment, a kind gesture, a deep thought, or me just being my silly self.  Often times I take a picture and send it to a friend that it reminds me of or post it on Facebook, with hopes it will brighten their day.  I find myself smiling and laughing a lot and smiles are contagious.  They are even known to reduce stress and lower blood pressure and I think we could all relax and not take life so seriously once in awhile.  Recently I was sitting at Whole Foods when the song Sara Smiles started playing.  Since then I have been contemplating the idea of starting a new blog or a website, and it keeps coming back up for me. Just last week I received a note from a friend that said she loves my posts because they always make her smile!  If that isn’t a telltale sign that now is a good time, I’m not sure what is!  

I figure I will just start out with a Facebook page because I am on Facebook daily, meaning it’s easier to stay committed.  I'm going to share what makes me happy and what makes me smile - maybe not every day, but often.  It may be a quote, it may be a picture or video that makes me laugh, maybe it's an amazing travel setting that I can just envision myself in.

I even have ideas of eventually turning it into something more – think an organization that provides young girls with subsidized or free dental work - all which stems from my 13 year old Little Sister from Big Brothers Big Sisters who never wants to smile in our pictures together because she hates her teeth and needs braces.  A little confidence for young girls goes a long way! 

Do I think this idea is ground breaking?  Of course not.  Will some people think this is just another one of those inspirational sites that is flooding their Facebook feed?  Probably.  Do I know if it will be sustainable?  Nope.  But that is A-OK.  For now, I'm doing something I enjoy.  After all, I think author H. Jackson Brown Jr. was onto something when he said, "Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine he sees all day."

So look out for my Facebook page request for "She Smiles" coming soon!  

Just a few smiles that have touched me over the years...

The Six Month Hiatus of Sarah

Meh...Yes, it's been that long.  Not intentional.  Life just gets in the way sometimes...  You know, things like work, family, friends, love, yoga, moving, traveling, reading, sleeping, eating, dating, studying, facebooking, shopping, volunteering, chasing dreams, and simply living.

Frankly, this blogging thing is difficult for me.  Not that I don't have anything to say or to talk about (Dear Lord, that's never a problem!). Writing for me is tough - never my strong subject in school.  I liked Math.  Finite things.  Things I could get results & definitive answers from.  I was terrified to start this blog a year & a half ago before I went on my journey to travel the world.  It was the very last thing I did before I walked out the door to the airport.  I pushed it off to the last possible second - so afraid how it would be perceived.  Then my friends & family began asking for more.  I was flattered, but even as I traveled, there were long bouts of silence because the thought of sitting at a computer for hours, making sure my posts were perfect, was torturous.  I even bought a netbook on my travels so that I would always have a notepad on hand; but I still fell behind, and then got shit from my travel buddies (That would be you, Erika & Charity! ;)) that my nose was stuck in my computer trying to "catch up" while we should have been relaxing on the beach.  They were right. This should be easier for me.  It should just flow - whatever is on my mind.  Unfortunately, for me, it's still easier said than done...

A friend of mine recently started a blog and it got me thinking.  What about my blog?  I still have so much to talk about.  Over the last 2 years I have had the most amazing adventures that I've learned and grown so much from.  I have a list in the back of my journal of subjects I still want to write about - Self Realization, Speaking English, Sanskrit, Spirituality, Strength, Second Chance, Spain, Saints, etc., etc....  Some are more personal than others - those of which will probably never make my blog, but maybe my memoir someday - which at my rate, will take a lifetime..

Over the past 6 months, people have asked if I will continue to post, but the guilt of being so far behind has deterred me.  The blog HAS been on my mind.  And then 2 days ago I sent a letter to a friend, whom I respect a ton.  I received positive feedback of how well of a writer I was.  Really?  Little did they know I had spent two hours reading, re-reading, formatting, deleting, copying, and pasting until it was just right.  I guess that's just that little bit of Type A left in me... But I think I just needed that little spark of encouragement.  Get over my fear of writing.  I'm a talker.  I have things to share.  Who cares if someone wants to critique it - in my opinion, then they shouldn't be reading it.  There are plenty of other blogs out there to enjoy.  I may not have the best grammar, or be the best speller.  I probably have a lot of run-on sentences, and use way too many commas (I heart commas, big time!).  But it's me.  It's raw.  It should be as if it were coming straight out of my mouth, right?

So here I am.  Ready to re-commit.  Maybe as a challenge for myself, I will set a timer.  Every time I post, I will aim for a minute shorter.  Starting with my next post, of course...

The Stick Shift of Sarah

Or “Manual”, as they call it here in South Africa (and most other parts of the world)…

After being in Cape Town for a week, I quickly realized how much a car would be beneficial. I found that an automatic car costs twice as much money to rent than a manual car and it has always been something I’ve wanted to learn.  I looked into driving lessons and said “Sign me up!”

Prior to my first lesson, I understood the concept of driving stick.  I got that the clutch needs to be pressed down when changing gears.  I’ve heard the phrase, “If you can’t find it, grind it”.  I knew there was a chance I could “kill the car”.  I understood the car would roll backwards if the parking break wasn’t on.  I had actually tried to drive stick a few times many years ago, but my “teacher” was easily frustrated and gave up on me…

Just a few minor differences when driving stick shift in Cape Town…

They drive on the left side of the road and sit on the right side of the car, which means the stick is on the left.  Completely opposite to everything we do in Chicago!  The roads aren’t exactly flat here.  I live on one side of a pretty decent size mountain and have to go up and over the mountain to get anywhere, which equals lots of hills!  Not to mention, the people here tend to drive a little crazy and there aren’t many “rules of the road”. 

Now I have driven an automatic on the left side of the road on the right side of the car when I was in Australia and New Zealand, which was a challenge in and of itself; so as you can imagine, I was terrified for my first lesson.  I kept trying to tell myself that so many people learn to do it, but for some reason, I didn’t have any confidence in myself.  I had this feeling I would never pick it up. 

Thankfully my instructor, Riyone, took me out of Camps Bay into town, where there is much less traffic and the roads are a bit more flat.  During my first 2 hour session, I was sweating bullets.  I didn’t take long for me to realize that I probably shouldn’t have worn flip flops for my first lesson because the bottom of the flop kept getting caught on the mat… And it took me a few times to realize what Riyone was referring to when he would tell me to turn at the Robot (the traffic light).  Who knows where they came up with that term because the things don’t have arms and legs…But, this is Africa!

I felt like I was 15 again.  Not only was I learning manual, but I was getting a refresh on drivers education, as a few of the bad driving habits I picked up over the years kept slipping out.  For example, not leaving enough space between me and the car in front of me, not slowing down soon enough before the traffic lights, and taking my turns a bit too fast.   Oopsy!  But apparently completely stopping at a stop sign is not required in South Africa.  My teacher even said so.  I didn't ask questions… ;) 

It took a few lessons to build up my ankle strength (lots of pedal pushing going on).  After 6 hours of lessons and practice over the last couple of weeks, I’m not doing too bad…I’m still killing the car once in awhile and have a little bit of trouble knowing when to down shift…The roundabouts are not my favorite b/c I don’t like slowing down once I have momentum…and my professional Chicago parallel parking skills aren’t so professional in Cape Town…

Needless to say, I can get myself from point A to point B, and it may just take a little bit of time before I can drink my coffee, put my lipstick on in the mirror, and text on my phone, all while driving manual… ;)  Kidding!  

The Space of Sarah

My new space in South Africa is starting to feel like home.  When Juli told me the cottage was in a great location in Camps Bay, I had no clue how great it would really be.  I am within 2 blocks walking distance to the ocean in Camps Bay.  I wasn't really familiar with this area because we didn't spend much time at the beach when I was here before.  It's one of the nicest areas of Cape Town with unbelievably beautiful houses overlooking the water and great shops and restaurants looking straight out to the beach.  I'm actually sitting at a cafe typing this as I look straight out into the beautiful blue ocean.  The weather is sunny, warm, and perfect everyday.  Not too humid (most of the time) with a nice breeze during the day.  It can get quite cool at night -carrying a jersey (sweater) or scarf is a must - as the wind is ferocious and cools the temperature down quite a bit.  I have moved from one windy city to the next.  Most days before I head to class, I wake up and go for a run along the water or study my yoga on the beach and stop at the cafe for my morning coffee on the way back; or head home to grab my computer to sit at the cafe, catching up on emails, people watching, and studying my poses.  Camps bay is quite the tourist attraction, so there are always people out and about.  Last week I even got to see camera crews filming a movie on the beach.

The cottage I'm staying in is quite old.  I had been warned, but really had no idea.  Unfortunately, maintaining the place is not really a priority for the owner and things are slowly falling apart.  I have managed to spruce it up a bit and have quickly gotten used to it.  After living out of boxes and suitcases for the last year, I was ready to have a "home" and tried to decorate my bedroom as cozy as I could.  Again, this place is all about location, location, location and the rent I pay is peanuts compared to what I would be spending in Chicago!

This beautiful picturesque place new to me is just another new reason why I love Cape Town!

The Simon of Sarah

No, it's not a typo. I meant Simon...

My first job after graduation was with Simon Marketing.  It was my dream job -  working on promotions for Kraft and McDonald's (How many people get to say they work on Happy Meal Toys!?).  We worked in the coolest office with crazy artwork, toys and games everywhere.  We had catered-in lunches, we got free Happy Meal Collectible Toys, we went to all sorts of fun work outings in the city. But most importantly, we worked with some of the greatest people I've ever met, many of who I still keep in touch with (and even work with) to this day, almost 11 years later.  

There were 5 of us girls that started that summer in 2000.  We were the pions, the new kids on the block.  We stuck together, trying to figure out what this so called "real world" was all about.  We looked up to our colleagues, wondering if we would ever get to where they were in life.  From their knowledge and experience on the job, to seeing them get married and have babies.  It's amazing how quickly a year and a half can go by and how much we seemed to learn.  And not too long after that year and a half went by, we also learned what it was like to be laid off - all because of one rogue employee who decided to be greedy and steal the winning Monopoly game pieces - McDonald's fired Simon Marketing, which meant the end of us... And a few weeks later, September 11th happened.  Where would we go?  What would we do next?  Our lives seemed over at the ripe old age of 22.  

I went to dinner with those 4 girls last night.  GNO (girls night out) is what we call it.  A tradition we have kept up monthly (or so) since that dreadful day we were laid off in September 2001.  Yes, 10 years later, we are still passing around the excel spreadsheet once a month with each of our availability, shading in the days we CANNOT make it (something that we have all tried to instill with other groups of friends, but for some reason no one else gets it...).  We always rotate locations of restaurants and try to get together in each other's neighborhoods.  

The tradition is we go around the table and each of us takes turns giving updates on what's new in our lives.  Over the years, we have pretty much seen it all - loss of jobs, graduation, interviewing, new jobs, broken hearts, death, marriage, divorce, illnesses, babies.  You name it.  Last night I sat back and looked at these 4 amazing women and realized how incredibly different we all are, yet we all pretty much started out as that same scared young girl right out of college.   

Today:

Christy is a Lawyer and lives with her boyfriend in the burbs.  

Angela is married and is a working mother of two.  

Vanessa is married and is a stay-at-home mother of 1.  

Jen is working and married to her husband of 6 years.

And Me.  I'm the single one, traveling the world (yet I was the only one who had a boyfriend when we all first met).

It's funny how things change.  I'm so proud to say that we can still come together and learn and grow from each other's heartaches and happiness.  We all take turns and have our ups and downs each month.  We are all honest (I mean 100% honest) with each other.  We respect each other and each other's opinions and decisions in life.  And it all comes full circle.  We will continue to change and grow and learn and support one another for another 10 years.  And I can't wait to see where it takes us...

And I can't help but add that sometimes it's even the silly things that come full circle.  One of the first times we all went out for a work lunch together back in 2000, the team took us to sushi - something we at 21 had never done.  For some reason Vanessa decided to scoop a large hunk of wasabi into her mouth, claiming she thought it was Guacamole (Guacamole at  Sushi restaurant??  Oh, Vanessa!).  Needless to say, Vanessa learned quickly that day and was eating sushi like a pro last night.  :)

Our days at Simon Marketing were short lived, but we learned that life does go on, up, down,  and even sideways sometimes.  

I wish I could say I had some older pictures to compare this new one to, but I don't think they made digital cameras back in 2000, did they girls??? ;)  The only one I could find below  was from a couple of years ago...Personally, I think we look the same as we did when we were 21!!

The Studying of Sarah

I never knew how much studying I would have to do for Yoga Teacher Training.  It's pretty intense and can't imagine working full time and going to graduate school.  Kudos to those of you who do!  Between working, my social calendar, my fitness routine, I barely had a free second.  I forgot what it was like to have homework and deadlines.  Thankfully, the material I was covering was something I have a true passion for and really enjoy.  Of course, in true Sarah fashion, I procrastinated.  For some reason I work way better under pressure.  But get outta my way when I do... It took the full 5 weeks, but by week 5, everything sort of clicked for me.  I started understanding the body and why we we do the poses and moves in Yoga Sculpt.  Understanding all of this really helps teach it and explain it.  The hardest part is getting it out of my mouth - saying all I have to say.  But I completed my program and passed my test this Sunday.  I am officially a certified Yoga Instructor!!  I'm going to try to teach a few free classes in the area and at my work gym before I leave for South Africa - just to get some practice.  And then off to Cape Town in January to continue my studies - 200 more hours to go! 

The Sculpt of Sarah

The word yoga means "union" in Sanskrit, the language of ancient India where yoga originated.  The union occurs between the mind, body and the spirit.  As many of you have heard me preach - Yoga has changed my body and my life!!  It's the one thing I can always go back to.  It grounds me, it allows me to focus, it relaxes me and brings self awareness. Yes, I love to run and do all sorts of different workouts, but the difference is that I'm usually thinking about something else during those times like my day, the things I still have to get done, the music I'm listening to at the moment.  With Yoga, I have no choice but to spend the 60-90 minutes to myself, where I am only focusing on my body, my postures, and my balance (which is VERY IMPORTANT for the clutz in me so I don't fall over in the middle of the class).


In addition to going back to Cape Town, South Africa next January to get my full 200 hour Yoga Teaching Certification, I decided to get trained in a type of yoga here called Sculpt.  So, I spent this past weekend in my first Corepower Yoga Sculpt teacher training sessions.  Yoga Sculpt is an hour long class of all I love to do when I workout.  It includes yoga, cardio (quick bursts of plyometrics to shock the body), weight lifting, intense heat (meaning I walk out of the room soaked in sweat, which cleanses and detoxes the body), all while listening to music!  How fun is that???  I could go on and on about how good this class is for you.  I am extremely passionate about it.  Can you tell?

I have anxiously been waiting for this weekend and to officially begin "yoga school" and what will begin a new career in yoga instruction.  17 total hours down with 19 hours to go and I actually wish it were longer... Why, you ask?  Because after this weekend, there is no way in hell I'm gonna be ready to teach!!  I'm gonna need all the practice I can get!!  Panic mode has set in...I've been taking it 3 days a week for the past 3 1/2 months. I can take a Yoga Sculpt class with my eyes closed, I know it like the back of my hand, know exactly what poses are coming next, but to teach is a whole different ball game.  To have to stand up and instruct a group of 20-30 people, making sure the temperature of the room is just right, the music isn't too loud, fitting the planned workout into 60 mins without going over, ensuring my students are doing their poses correctly and no one is in danger, all while they are staring back at me, trusting in me to give them a great workout.  It's a lot of pressure!  I had this crazy idea in my head that we would spend the whole weekend practicing yoga, and I would get this great workout.  Silly me...


We spent the majority of those 17 hours in discussion.  Learning the anatomy of the body, going over health and fitness terms, reviewing exactly what is happening in the body during each of the poses, and beginning to learn how to instruct, to give cues on alignment and safety with the weights and of course, the most important element of yoga, TO BREATHE!  


I need to start taking my own advice, because deep breathes are about the only thing that will get me through the stress I feel.  I know I have the confidence, the loud voice, and the personality, but I feel like it is going to take forever until I get there. But regardless, I am extremely excited, and so happy I made the decision to pursue this, as I do envision myself one day bouncing around in front of the class getting people pumped and playing my Rihanna music!!  I have a lot of reading to do, even homework, and a whole lot of practicing with friends and family.  So if anyone wants some free yoga lessons, you know where to find me...

Namaste!  

The So What's Next? of Sarah

When I got back to the states I told myself I would relax for the month of July and wait until August to begin figuring out what in the world I was going to do next with my life.  I didn’t want to stress about it, as I had already done so while in Cape Town with a month left to go on my trip; I began to panic, thinking I had to have something lined up before I went home.  After all, my trip WAS supposed to be about “finding myself” and hoping something would just fall into my lap, wasn’t it??  Yes, I got some clarity on a lot of things, I changed quite a bit, I decided there were a few things I didn’t want in life, but I realized there was no point ruining the last month of my holiday stressing about what was to come.  I would just let it go and hope that things would fall into place.   And that they did…

Leaving Cape Town, I was pretty convinced I would be back.  I wanted to come home and take some time, get over the travel “buzz”, and see how it felt to be in Chicago again.  But I wasn’t home even a few weeks before I was yearning to return.  The energy, the people, the culture, the mountains, the water, the beaches, the 25 children I left behind, and of course, Babalwa’s precious little face I promised I would see again. 

I assumed I couldn’t go longer than a few months without having an income, so I would plan to go back in October or November.  A little ambitious, I know…  I quickly began making connections, researching organizations, sending out emails to friends and anyone who could provide me with information on immigrating to South Africa and how I could get an extension to a 3 months traveler’s visa.  The amazing American couple I met in Cape Town, Dash & Pam, were extremely encouraging.  A few years ago, they too had the urge to move to South Africa, so they quit their steady/good paying jobs, picked up their 3 kids, and moved from New Jersey to Cape Town.  They took a leap of faith and they have been a great inspiration to me to follow my heart and my dreams.  And so I planned to do just that. 

But what would I do there and how would I afford to live?  I knew I wanted to help out at my children’s home, Masigcine.  After volunteering there for 8 weeks I had a lot of ideas, passion to grow the home and expand the organization, so I reached out to the manager and of course they are more than willing to allow me to help, but don’t have a paying position at the moment.   I was just happy to be in touch and even got to speak to the kids on the phone, which completely had me over the moon and reinforced how much I miss all of them and can’t wait to see their smiling little faces again. <3   So I decided I would help part time, with hopes of a position opening up, but I would also have to begin looking elsewhere within other organizations. 

While all of this was going on, I was getting back into my yoga practice, trekking downtown 3-4 days a week.  My friend, Maria, introduced me to Corepower yoga, and specifically the Corepower Sculpt class.  Not only is it Vinyasa yoga in a hot room, it includes arm weights, and the added bonus of music!!  I was in heaven.  And my idea of being a personal trainer on the side (something that came to me when I was on my meditation retreat) turned into an idea to teach yoga.  Yoga has really changed my body and my mind since my friend Marisa introduced me to Bikram yoga a few years ago. I can’t explain how much more calm and grounded I feel when I practice a few times a week.  It would be perfect!  Of course, they aren’t offering a teacher training course until end of October, which would bring me to at least end of November and to top it off, it wouldn’t give me a full yoga teaching certification.  So there I was, deciding if I could wait until December to go back, and at that point, I figured I might as well wait until after the holidays.  This was throwing a little wrench in my plan, but I had this feeling I should pursue the class.  The Yoga Sculpt class is not offered in many other places, especially South Africa, so I thought a few of the yoga studios I visited in Cape Town would be a perfect place to market this class.  But I still had the issue of not being fully certified.  Then the light bulb went off.  Why not finish my yoga training in Cape Town?  After some quick research, I found a teacher who will train me in whatever amount of time I need.   So with a 3 months traveler’s visa guaranteed, I can go to Cape Town, get certified, all while helping out at Masigcine and look for a full-time job.  If I can’t find something and/or get my visa extended after 3 months, I come home and at least I will be able to say I gave it a shot, I will come home with a yoga teaching certification, I will get to be in Cape Town during the summer (when it’s freezing in Chicago) and I will get to see the kids and all my friends again.  Sounds like a perfect plan to me. 

Oh and in the meantime, while shopping at my favorite yoga store, Lululemon, I was put in touch with a girl who studied for a year at the University of Cape Town , teaches yoga, and is moving back to Cape Town in January as well to start up an extension of The Africa Yoga project which was started in Kenya.  Britt and I quickly had a connection and have so many plans when we are back there together. 

And the icing on the cake is that a great friend of mine, Melissa, has generously extended an invite for me to stay with her in the city and I have a job until I plan to leave.  A former co-worker of mine recently went on maternity leave and needed coverage while she’s gone.  She had heard I was looking to make a little bit of money before I moved, and just like that, I am working back in my old role, but on the Gatorade brand.  I never in a million years thought I would step foot back into that building as an employee, but it’s actually quite a sweet gig and learning a whole new brand is a great new challenge for me.  And it just so happens she needs me until January, right when I plan to leave for Cape Town.  I don’t really know what I did to deserve all of this, as I often have to stop and question why am I so lucky and when will it all come crashing down.  But this all just reinforces my strong belief in Karma. What goes around comes around.  Yes, I’m still a gypsy and I don’t know what is to come after my visa runs out in April next year, but I’m enjoying living for today and continuing to believe that good things come to those who wait.

The Since I've Been Home of Sarah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s old news that I’m home.  I’ve been so lucky to have seen or spoken to many of you, my story has been told about 100 times, and most of you have heard what an amazing time I had on my 5 month journey traveling the world.  I have wanted to blog the recap of my trip, but a lot of great questions have come up from friends and family, which have made me think a lot more and much deeper about things I hadn’t even thought about.  I definitely plan to recap the trip at some point, but this blog will be about the last 10 weeks since I’ve been home, the adjustment being back in the US, the progress I’ve made on my next steps in life, and of course the planes, trains, automobiles, and boats that have taken me on a whole new 2 month adventure. 

So what’s a girl to do with nothing but free time, perfect summer weather, a swimming pool in the backyard, parents who can’t get enough of seeing her, and the most fabulous and generous friends?

The first few weeks home in July were busy, as if I had never left.  I think I had plans lined up for the first 3 weekends I was home before I even got here.  I had a lot of catching up to do and spent a lot of time making the trek between the burbs, where I was staying with my parents, and the city, to see friends (Something my parents weren't too keen about.  After 10 years living out of their house, I forgot what it feels like to be questioned where I'm going and what I'm doing).  I got the "when will you be home?" and "well it's nice to see you!" (sarcastic tone of voice).  I never knew doing my own thing at 31 years old would make me feel so guilty.  Lol! But to their defense, I was once again living under their roof and they just wanted to know what I was up to and when I would be popping in. Some things just never change I guess... ;) 

Although it was summer, a lot of social plans in the city revolve around eating and drinking. This didn’t help my plan to lose the 10 pounds I packed on on my trip, but thankfully my friend Maria had a different idea, so we would meet for yoga and brunch dates, which quickly got me back into a routine, realizing how much I truly missed my yoga practice.  I have only enjoyed practicing Bikram yoga for the past 2 ½ years, but Maria introduced me to another form of hot yoga, which opened up a whole new world for me.  But I’ll get back to that a little later…

Catching up with friends made me quickly realize I didn’t miss a whole lot while I was gone. Yes, some things had changed - A couple of friends got new jobs, a few got promoted, one graduated business school, there were a few engagements and babies born, a few moved in with their boyfriends, and a couple more found their sole mates.  Exciting times for all of them, but it just reinforced for me how much more I felt  “out of place”, or as my friend Deanna described me, “a fish out of water”.  Not that anyone made me feel that way, or that I couldn’t still relate to any of these friends, but it just solidified what I realized when I was gone – there is nothing conventional about the way I’m currently living my life and it will probably remain that way for awhile.  I’m still somewhat of a gypsy, bouncing around, traveling from place to place, packing and unpacking.  Sometimes I would give anything to just have “my” bed, a place to call my own again, but I’m learning to live with the fact that this was my choice and I’m actually happier than I have ever been in life.  The unknown is fun for me right now.  Where will life take me, where will I be 5 years from now?  As of right now, I have plans until mid April and after that, who knows?  I’ll figure it out as I go, I’m living day by day, and it seems to be working just fine.  Things are falling into place better than I could have ever imagined and I attribute it to my positive attitude and the energy I put towards taking risks and living life to the fullest. 

Still, it didn’t take long for me to get wrapped back up into the American way of life.  When traveling, everything was so simple.  Here, I try to avoid the materialistic things, the gossip and the nonsense they call “news” these days, but it is everywhere and it’s so hard not to get consumed by it.  Being single in Chicago for 2 years definitely took its toll on me and wore me out.  Now I’m trying hard to focus my attention and time on things like volunteering, weekend trips away, yoga, concerts, etc.  Taking my trip around the world opened my eyes to so much and just left me craving more. 

Here is a list of some of the things I’ve done “Since I’ve Been Home”:

• Spent lots of lazy hours laying by my parent’s pool, playing with the dogs and reading.  I have learned to relax, leave my phone in the house, and just focus on myself.
• Within the first couple of weeks home I only tried driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walked to the wrong side of the car once.  But still to this day, about half the time I’m still walking on the left side of the sidewalk.  When I’m alone, it’s ok, but the second someone else starts coming towards me, my mind can’t trigger it quick enough and default is to go left.  I have much more patience now for people that get a little tangled up and seem a little confused.  I know how it feels!!!
• I've learned to space out the important things I need to do, such as pay bills, fixing my car, running errands, etc.  I am so much better at managing my time, I’ve learned to take things slow, giving myself a few tasks a day and forgetting about the rest until tomorrow.  
• Bus ride with 25 friends to Ravinia to see Sting.
• Rihanna concert with my sister.
• Spent time on my family’s boat in Michigan City and shopping with my Mom.
• Deck parties, Cubs games, rooftop pool days, boat parties, and street festivals in the city.
• A weekend in New Buffalo with my besties, which started a tradition for many more years to come.
• A last minute weekend trip to Minnesota with my friend, Julia, which opened my eyes to what goes on in a tiny little town of 600 people and also allowing me to make some really cool new friends. 
• Brunches and lunches with friends visiting from out of town.
• Visiting Erin & Randy and their new baby boy.
• Drank lots of wine, talking and catching up on life.
• Pool Days at Bridget’s House with Nicki, Kristy, Amy, Taylor, and all the little rugrats.  Can’t forget our friend Jeremiah…
• Birthday dinner after birthday dinner.  
• Traveled for a week to New Orleans and volunteered with The St. Bernard Project, rebuilding a family’s home and helping out anywhere we could.  All thanks to my new friend, Jenn, who is one of the smartest, kindest, giving persons I have ever met.  A true inspiration for me!!
• Spent a beautiful Labor Day weekend in Seaside, FL which included a lot of R&R, fun in the sun, fantastic dinners, and silly shenanigans I would have never expected.  Melissa and Tim are the greatest hosts!
• Took a quick overnight trip for Julia’s graduation party for Minnesota Madness Round 2 and a private plane ride home that allowed me to sit in the cockpit, listen, and watch the plane land.
• Yoga, yoga and more yoga.

I can’t believe how long I’ve been home already.  It’s almost starting to feel like a distant memory.  But I don’t ever want to forget.  This chapter in my life will probably be like that guy who just can’t let go of that one football game in High School 25 years ago where he was the star.  Haha.  I just have to keep going through the pictures and reminding myself of all the great memories I made and the amazing things I did and saw. 

So you are probably wondering what I’m going to do next?  I know I promised to share my next steps, but this post is already way too long.  I do have a plan, I do have a job here in Chicago for the time being, I have a new place to stay, but I guess you will all just have to wait for my next post, "The So What’s Next? of Sarah"….

The Shift of Sarah

My time at Masigcine Children's Home would have never been the same if it weren't for the wonderful girls I volunteered with over the course of  those 10 weeks in Cape Town.  I can't imagine life without having met Malene, Linda, Katie, Emma, Jen, and Ingrid.  We got each other through some of those crazy, exhausting days with the kids.  We worked so well together, splitting responsibilities, knowing when to step in and take over when we could tell someone had had enough, taking turns with the duties, not questioning each other when one of us needed a break, sharing new ways to do things, new ways to be patient, and of course, how to love more than I ever could have imagined possible.  Not only were we so fortunate to have each other at work, but we were a hell of a lot of fun off the job as well!  Never in a million years did I think I could connect with these girls the way I did.  They were some of the most mature young women I have ever met and I learned something new from them everyday.  We had so much fun talking, laughing, crying, loving, teasing, dancing, shopping, partying, and learning.  I could probably go on and on forever with the amount of memories we made, but here is just a tidbit...

• Learning Xhosa!!  Practicing every night before bed, using it on and off shift when we could, asking the Si Sis to translate for us, singing the South African National Anthem, and reading the Xhosa Dictionary.  Some of our faves were:  Ndiyakuthanda (I Love You), Sithandwa Sam (My Love - "Oh, Ronel!") :) , Suka (Go Away), Bafana Bafana..my girls know the rest of this one..
• Kate, Emma and the ladder incident  
• Jen and Na Kangaroo.
• Introducing yet another person (or 4) to peanut butter & jelly.  
• Staying up making Fat Koek (source of probably 5 of the pounds I gained...) and chatting with the Si Sis.
• The Bok Bus Weekend (Driving the jeeps, Ashley's pile of boxer shorts, campfires, forbidden flowers, mosquito nets, and Jen poking penquins)
• Falling off the seat in the van.
• Emma calling me "so charming" when I would lose/drop everything and have a trail behind me she would pick up.
• Oh, those African Boys...
• Partying and dancing on Long Street, Trenchtown and late nights at Stones.  The stolen toast and Nutella, Emma and me getting followed back to the house, hiding from the creep calling over the wall "Emma, Emma, I love you!"
• Removing the Akon Poster
• Trips to/from Creche (the kids preschool).
• Jen and me explaining "It's an expression!" to Emma.
• Ingrid, Emma, and Me going nuts at Canal Walk and pushing around a shopping cart full of our goods.  "I'm so glad I bought this shit!" - Ingrid
• The breezer in the freezer
• "Hey, Malene!  Hey, Malene!"
• Ingrid running into the glass sliding door on the infamous night we "stayed in"
• All the fun expressions:  "It's all about sharing, mate!", "Woop", "Eish", "Hilarious", "Pissin", "Good for you", "Who knows? Only God." 
• Small Big Mac meals
• All of our text response discussions and the boy advice.
• What do you call a fish with no eye?  Fsshh  (Good one, Ingrid!) ;)
• Emma in La La Land.  "Oh, Emma!"
• Me, Malene and Linda running in the township and our backyard bootcamp
• Painting our nails (and toenails).. 
• Emma and me sitting outside with boys when they came home from school
• The Biscuit Mill, Wine Tours, Safaris, Sunsets, McDonalds, Shop Rite, Table Mountain, Moyo, SATC, 
• The Norwegians and their beautiful eyes
• Emma sitting in Qamane's wet spot
• The mini-bus rides
• Finding Emma passed out with a bowl of pasta in bed
• The birthday party upstairs for the girls
• Ingrid and my crazy day/night at Fan Fest with Andisiwe.  Bafana, Bafana...
• P.S. Bars.  "Have you ever thought about being a lesbian?"
• The whistler...
• Dressing up the kids in the silly costumes we found hidden in a closet
• The uneventful sunset.  I mean sunrise...
• Tip Top Tommelopp
• Malene and Linda dying their hair
• My little pumpkin
• Our late night talks
• Music sharing
• Movies, movies, and more movies.  

I could go on and on...So many  memories in such a short time together.  I can only hope our paths will cross again; but for some reason, I'm really not that worried because we had a bond that cannot be broken or replicated and I just know we will make the effort to see each other again soon someday...  Ndiyakuthanda, Si Sis!!  Obokeka Gakoshe!

The Surprise of Sarah

What better way to make return home from my 5 month trip then to surprise by Mom on her birthday??  I didn't book my return flight home until 5 weeks ago.  I had been telling my Mom (and everyone else) that I would be home July 7th, while secretly my flight was booked for July 5th (my Mom and Brother's birthday).  I actually didn't even want to tell my Brother I was coming home, but figuring my family had plans for the day, I knew there was no way I could coordinate where they would be and how I would get home.  For the last 5 weeks my Mom has been asking over and over when exactly I was coming home and if I would send her my flight info.  I kept giving her the run around, while secretly planning my arrival with my Brother and Sister.

Although I was reluctant to come back from my trip, as the plane began descending into Chicago I was extremely excited and nervous all at the same time - such a strange feeling... As my sister had promised, she arrived at O'Hare with a large Reese's Peanut Butter cup blizzard.  :) It was delish!  I was so happy to see Ashley and ironically enough, she was nervous as well.  We debated back and forth whether Mom knew about my secret and wee plotted how I would walk make my grand entrance.

My mom was sitting on the back patio with her back to the door.  I casually walked up behind her and just said, "Hey Mom!  What's up?".  She couldn't believe it!  She immediately said that about an hour earlier at 12:30pm she had mentioned to my Dad that she hadn't heard from me in a few days and was wondering if I may show up early because when I left back in February, I had originally told her I would come home in July, most likely for her birthday.  Ironically enough, 12:30pm is exactly when I touched ground in Chicago.  Call it ESP or a mother's intuition, she felt my presence.  Wild!  Of course we had a great day catching up, relaxing in the sun, barbecuing, and eating cake (my sister even gave me a welcome home cookie).  It felt so good to be back with my family again and I realized how much I truly missed them.

And for everyone else.  I'm sorry I lied and said I wasn't going to be home until Wednesday.  I needed a couple of days to spend with my family, ease in and slowly come back to reality, do a few errands, all without my phone blowing up.  I guess you can say I'm sneaky like that...  But I'm back!!  So excited to have a summer off in Chicago, so excited to see everyone and catch up on the last 5 months.  I will most likely continue to blog, as I still have so much to share.  So keep checking back.  You never know what sort of new adventures I have up my sleeve...

The Solitude of Sarah

You know that saying, "That which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger"? True Story!
So what exactly is Vipassana meditation?  According to my books, it is a straight-forward way to achieve peace of mind and lead a happy, useful life. Vipassana means "to see things as they really are" and it's a process of mental purification throught self-observation. We all experience frustration and misery from time to time and tend to distribute it to others, which isn't a proper way to live. Vipassana teaches us to observe this reality and gain insight to the causes of our misery and helps us dissolve the tensions and unravel the knots to lead a more positive, balanced and happy life. Although it was practiced and taught by Buddha, it is not involved with any specific sect or religion and can be practicied by anyone.
I was so nervous going into the 10 day course. 10 days without speaking (lord knows that's a huge task for me), without any contact with the outside world, without any distractions, including music, exercising, writing. Could I do it??
After a day, there was no chance I wasn't going to document what I was thinking and feeling. My mind was crazed and figured this was all part of my journey and I had to write down what I was experiencing.
Here are some of my notes verbatim from my journal:
First Night
- The ambience of the meditation hall and the chanting that began the course literally had me convinced I was joining a cult and that I would be locked up and brain washed.

- One woman leaves
Day 1
- For as flexible as I am, this sitting is killing my hips..
- Acute awareness today (thought people were crazy when they talked about this) - the grass, the mountains, the trees, the flowers, the moss on the ground, the dew on the logs, the crickets and birds chirping, the moon and the stars. Everything seems so clear.
- So hard to concentrate
Day 2
- Freaking out/monkey mind. Should I leave? Is everyone else feeling the same way?
- Saw a beautiful peacock and wanted to shout to everyone to come look, but couldn't! LOL!
- I'm totally cheating by writing down my thoughts..- I absolutely hate washing my dishes in the dirty water everyone else is using. ILL!

Day 3
- I'm dosing off. Is that a good thing?
- Wondering if there is more to this. The old students don't budge for 2 hours, but they don't walk away looking extremely happy either. WTF?
- Want to shout out "Are we all crazy?!"
- Million thoughts running throughout my head. More than ever...About people and things I could care less about. My mind is even making weird things up.
- What if I can't meditate? Be patient.. I guess this is a good thing considering I never sit down.
- I'm not a quiter, so will stick this out.
Day 4
- Loving the weather, so warm and sunny.
- I can't believe how many ideas I've had in my head. Realizing things I do want and don't want in life. When wouldever really sit and think about all this w/ no distractions?
- Another girl left (4 total now)- Crazy ideas. Convinced myself I have a tumor growing in my stomach.. (it's not the 5 months of no excersing and eating crap). LOL!

- Maybe my next calling is a team mascot [I'm peppy, I love motivating people, I have tons of energy]?? OMG! I LOL to myself on that one.
Day 5
- Why can't I just let things go? Mind still racing. I know there is a silver lining.. - I can only meditate for an hour max. I don't have the attention span...isn't that the reason I'm here? Duh!

- Deep thought - If I died today, I would die happy. :)

- Still just having an apple, a banana, and popcorn for dinner. I've given up thinking we will get anything else one of these nights..

- desires = cravings = clinging = misery
Day 6
- Now going nuts that I can't follow through with all the thoughts and ideas I've had over the last 6 days. I'm way more creative than I thought..
- Plan to sell a lot of my things when I get home... Realizing what I don't need in my life.  Ebay, here I come!- Saw a huge bug next to the girl in front of me in the meditation hall and couldn't even tell her! Try meditating with one eye open. NOT EASY!
Day 7
- Understand the technique. Really now just up to me to practice, but I've slacked and sleep in every morning. But this is about me. I've never slept so good. Not going to beat myself up about it...- Starting to feel really good after a week of eating healthy/vegetarian

- Tears of joy during the evening session. Whoa!  :)
Day 8
- I'm over it. 7 days would have been a perfect amount of time. The next 3 days are going to be a struggle.
Day 9
- Broke the silence with less than 24 hours to go. Couldn't take it. Was well worth it. The girls in my house are amazing!
Billie-Mae plays the African Drum in a band that I have seen at a local bar a few times. I knew she looked familiar!!
Joana is half Portugese and half Indian, but was born in Mozambique. 22 years old and has the most fascinating stories. Her mom and step-day (both doctors) just realased a book last week called "Sex at Dawn". Pretty sure they will be on Oprah soon.
Nosipho is a mother of a 3 year old and has come to figure out if she wants to divorce her husband. I gave her some encouraging words. :)
Day 10
- Trying very hard to be quiet and secretive about our broken silence, but are so giggly. Wish I had more time with these girls...

- Broken silence FINALLY! The 2 people that sat on either side of me in the hall told me I fell asleep and was snoring on the first day. HAHA!
All in all a wonderful experience. Could have been a little shorter for sure. Maybe I didn't meditate as much as I should have, but I think I gained what I wanted. I learned to meditate, I detoxed my body, I relaxed with no interuptions for 10 days straight, I had so much time to think and reflect on my life. At the end of the day, I just confirmed what I've known for awhile. I'm so blessed, I have the most amazing friends and family, I've been so lucky to go on this journey, I've had the most amazing experiences, I've grown in more ways than I ever imagined possible, and I have absolutely noregrets in life. Oooommmmm.......

The [Home] Sweet Home of Sarah

Reluctantly, I will be heading home this week.  I can't believe how quickly 5 months has come and gone.  It's not that I don't miss Chicago - the Cubs & Sox games, North Ave. Beach, Shopping on Michigan Ave., the street fests, and of course I couldn't forget all of my friends and family... It's just that 5 months really wasn't much time and I feel like I could go another 5 months.  Just two small problems:
1) I promised my parents I would be home early July (plus, I'm pretty sure they are over taking care of my business, dealing with my mail, maintaining Joan Jetta). 
2)  I'M BROKE!  As in waaay over spent my budget... But I wouldn't take any of it back and it was worth every penny. 
As the # of days here dwindle, I do get more and more excited to be home.  Plus, I'm just telling myself it's going to be a quick visit back. ;) 
So here are the Top 10 Reasons I can't wait to be back to Sweet Home Chicago:
10.  Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (I'm expecting my sister to have one of the giant sized ones, or better yet, a RBC blizzard waiting for me when she picks me up at the airport), Pizza (sorry, nothing compares to Chicago Pizza), Greek Yogurt & Blueberries, and Sushi (who's making the reservation at Coast?  I'll bring the Wine!)
9. Staying put for awhile - although I'm sure I will be back and forth between the p's and the city...
8.  Relaxing by the pool, reading the list of books I've made along my way, and reflecting on my travels
7.  My clothes - will be like a brand new wardrobe again
6.  Bikram Yoga
5.  Figuring out what I'm going to do next in life (yes, I'm excited for this)
4.  My bed
3.  Summer in Chicago
2.  My Iphone and being able to be in contact with anyone at anytime & always having internet access
All these things will be nice to have, but the #1 reason I'm excited to come back home:
1.  Catching up with all my wonderful friends and family!
See you all soon!  XOXO

The Soccer of Sarah

So much excitement going on for the World Cup here in Cape Town.  I wasn't even supposed to be here, and admit I was a little bit nervous that it would be a little crazy, but it has been so much fun.  There is so much energy.  Unfortunately I am not going to get a chance to go to a game, but I did manage to make it down to the Grand Parade to the FIFA Fan Fest for the South Africa/Mexico kickoff game on Friday.  Ingrid and I made our way downtown and almost weren't let in b/c it was full . We patiently waited outside the gates.  Everyone was chanted "let us in" and having such a good time.  Luckily they let a big group of people in and Ingrid and I made the cut.  We had such a good time cheering and celebrating with all the S.A. fans.  Wearing green and yellow, supporting Bafana! Bafana! (which is what they call the team - it means "the boys" "the boys").  We later met up with one of the young Si Sis, Andisiwe, from Masi, which was a blast.  I'm slowly learning about Soccer, which is actually a pretty exciting sport.  Although I realized that I might know why the Americans don't follow it so much - the games can end in a draw so that no one wins...boring!  Besides the fact I can barely hear anymore from all the Vuvuzelas (like a trumpet) - those things are loud and they keep us up at night too - it's been a great time and I'm so happy I was able to be a part of the games...  Oh, and my friend Beth go to build a sculpture as well (like the cows, but Zebras).  She is so talented (see it below).  It's Ayoba time!!

I

The Si Si of Sarah

Agh!  I can't believe I have been here for almost 8 weeks.  Time has flown by and it really doesn't feel as though I'm on holiday anymore.  It's been so nice to be settled and just "live".  Me and the other volunteers spend 3 days living in Mfuleni township (townships are the areas that during the Apartheid were reserved for non-whites  - black Africans and Coloureds) on shift from 7am to 7pm at Masigcine Children's Home (Masi).  On our breaks and after 7pm, we spend our time reading, watching movies, chatting about our day with the kids, and planning the next day's activities.  When we return for 3 days to Cape Town for our time off, we live in an area called Observatory.  When off shift, we go to the internet cafe, relax, shop, climb mountains, go on tours, visit the markets, go to concerts (Akon baby!!), and of course let loose and party sometimes.  :)

When I arrived the first week I met a ton of great girls to hang with but unfortunately they were just finishing their time here.  Since they have left, I have been on the project with 6 different girls. Malene and Linda from Norway who were with me for about 4 weeks, Jen from Canada here 4 weeks, Emma from Norway here 6 weeks, Kate from England here 4 weeks, and Ingrid from Norway who just arrived 2 weeks ago.  I have seen a lot of people leave, and it hasn't been easy.  Living in close quarters with each other, learning about our differences, going through culture shock together, making preciou memories with the kids, and laughing harder than we've ever laughed before.  I never in a million years thought I could connect with these girls on such a deep level (especially given they are all 19 and 20 years old), but there is a reason why we were all brought together and I am so thankful for sharing this part of my journey with them.  <3

Si Si is a word for sister in the Xhosa language (one of 11 languages in S. Africa).  Although most everyone can speak English as well, Si Si is what we call each other and what we call the women who are full time employees at the home.  My first shift as a Si Si was rewarding, overwhelming, and exhausting all at the same time. I had to go alone b/c the other volunteers hadn't arrived yet, but thankfully Malene & Linda were staying at Masi full time.  They had been at Masi for 3 months last year and came back to live at the house for 6 more weeks.  They showed me the ropes, and if it weren't for them, I probably would have lost it.  I spend most of the shift learning the lay of the land, learning 25 names (so challenging given a lot of them are African and difficult to pronounce), and just enjoying the kids and getting to know their personalities and backgrounds.  They all stole my heart and I was so surprised to see how happy they are, always smiling and laughing.  They are really well behaved (most of the time...) and know the system really well (sad, but true).  The stories behind each child are heartbreaking.  Some have parents who have chosen to neglect them b/c they drink too much, some whose parent's have died of Aids, some who have been left in a trash bin at birth.  Some have been here for months or years, some are 10 years old and have been here since birth, and 5 have arrived since I've started.  Some of their parents walk by w/o acknowledging their children are inside, some parents get visitation, trying to prove they are fit to bring them home again.  It's so painful to see the kids when they come home from a weekend away b/c they are so happy to go home, but so sad to be torn away again.  My first shift ended well, but I was completely exhausted and could not wait to get a break.

Shifts 2 and 3 were tough.  The kids had a lot of activities and visitors those weeks, including parents visiting, past volunteers visiting, choir groups, hula hoop lady, baptisms, public holidays off school, special treats for dinner.  It seems the more people that are around, the wilder they are.  During these shifts I also started to question what is really best for these kids.  Yes, our love and attention is desparately needed (the smiles on their faces when we give them just 20 minutes of one on one time to color or do a puzzle is priceless), but I began wondering if they would do better with more of a routine and with less people around.  I began to feel guilty about coming into their lives for only 4 weeks and leaving them, just like everyone else has done before me.  The only consistencies they have are the full time Si Sis, who have been at the home for years.  They women are absolutely amazing and have the biggest hearts.  They get paid close to nothing (equivalent to about $300 us dollars a month) yet come to work every day (some walking 1.5 hours to get to/from) with the biggest smiles on their faces, taking care and loving the children as if they were their own.  And on their days off, they spend their time cooking, cleaning, and taking care of of their own children at home.  Although these weeks were frustrating for me, I started realizing there was no way I could only stay 1 more week.  I was just starting to get comfortable, I was becoming friends with the Si Sis, starting to learn and speak Xhosa, I wanted to understand the bigger picture on on what goes on withe these homes and the kids, and of course, I was falling in love with the children.

Shifts 4 and 5 were a turning point for me and here I am, going into my 8th shift tomorrow and just can't believe my time here is almost up.  I chose to stay her for the rest of my travels b/c I just couldn't see myself going anywhere else.  Yes, there are so many other places in the world that I want to see, but I have seen and done so much in the last 4 months and to be honest, the novelty of seeing and doing has sort of worn off for the time being.  I figured why not stay here?  When will I ever have this chance again? I feel comfortable here, I have made friends here, I feel like I have sort of a normal life - working a few days a week, etc. A few days ago I realized how a year or so ago I could never imagine myself doing what I'm doing, living in a "dorm", sleeping in bunkbeds, living w/o all my "stuff", but it's crazy how I've just adapted, w/o even thinking about it. I have gained a new appreciation for my friends with kids, although taking care of 1 or 2 kids sounds like a breeze to me at this point. :)  Having 3 kids jumping on me, begging for my attention, crying, and waiting to be held, while another one is tugging on my sleeve needing to go to the toilet, is exhausting.  Of course some days I have no energy and am not engaged.  But the patience, the love, the understanding, the tolerance, and the greatfullness that I have learned is incredible.  At the end of the day, I am blessed for every minute I get with the kids.  Whether it be bathing, feeding, reading, painting, playing outside, doing their nails, singing and dancing, playing outside and taking them to the park, walking them to/from school, wiping their tears (and their snotty noses); every moment is priceless.  My favorite part of the day is bath time at 5pm.  They are refreshed from the day, clean and snuggly, smelling good in the their pjs.  I just love it. 

Of course, even though we are told not to do it, I found a favorite.  After the first week or 2, I didn't think it was possible b/c they are all so cute and perfect in their own way, but after a couple of weeks, I couldn't help it. There is something so special about Babalwa.  Before coming here I figured it would have been a baby, but Babalwa is 6.  Maybe it started when I taught her to ride a bike, or when I tucked her in one night, or the first time she ran up to me and begged for a hug and kiss, calling me mama (which is what all the Si Sis are called by the kids), and saying "I love Sarah".  She is absolutely beautiful, sensitive, loving, and shy and will always have a special place in my heart.  And who knows, if I do come back here, I would for sure entertain the idea of taking her on the weekends and growing our relationship... There is a picture of her and me below.  :)

This amazing experience would not be possible w/o my girls here. So many memories we've made, the trouble we've caused, the new things we have learned, and the silliness we have brought out in each other.  Last night Ingrid, Emma and I had a blast just hanging out in the backyard talking and listening to music and found ourselves saying how we want to hang out with us. We have so much fun together and can entertain each other for hours.  We are pretty sure everyone is jealous of us.  Ha ha.  :-p

I have watched Jen, Kate, Malene and Linda go and tonight is our last night with Emma before she returns back to Norway.  It just won't be the same w/o her. :( Being a Si Si has been wonderful and my life will be forever changed b/c of the time I have spent here.  All I can say is Enkosi (thank you), Si Sis!